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On the WunderPod, Mer and Wolf have intimate and broad-reaching conversations with a wide range of creative guests about the wonders of existence: unscripted, unrestrained, and uncut.
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Hannah Pt 1 - Shipwrecked, Can’t See, Can't Swim
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Hannah joins Wolf and Mer to share their week of delights. They chat about being a Jane of many trades, starting projects without having everything in place, spring breezes, ocean slime, cat teeth, resisting retail therapy, and squeaky olives. The pals debate their various roles if shipwrecked on a desert island.
Catch part two next week!
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Not knowing what's out there. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_00Welcome, Hannah. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04To The Wonder Pod.
SPEAKER_00To the Wonder Pod. Yay, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Hannah is one of our top fans. She has listened to every episode. Damn right. And that's the only reason we're having her on. Tell us three things about yourself.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I grew up in Alaska, which could be a fun fact for some, maybe not. I feel like Bend is a pretty pretty uh close equivalent. It's a nice pipeline. There's a decent amount of people, I feel like, that come this direction from Alaska. So I work in HR. So basically just love being in everyone's business. But I've worked a lot of really odd jobs over the years. I have some to share if you'd like to hear them. Yeah, do any of them involve horses? No horses. Just curious. There are animals involved, okay, but not horses. Um I was a doggy daycare attendant.
SPEAKER_04Um that sounds amazing.
SPEAKER_01It was a lot of fun, but I did have to break up fights, and I also don't like that uh did grooming for dogs, which I was never trained in, and I was like expressing anal glands. Oh, jeez. Would not recommend, but you know. Um that's one of the grossest fucking things I've ever heard of, is that task. You will never forget that smell.
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You're welcome for giving you that image. Um, I was a lifeguard, uh, which is a fun fact because I can't really swim. Are you serious?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you're gonna do like a swimming test.
SPEAKER_01I did, which is the wild part. Um, there is a water park in Anchorage where I grew up. Um H2 Oasis? Yeah. That one if you've ever been there, it's it's pretty dicey, so you might understand why they let me work there. Um I they have a lazy river that goes around uh the entire entirety of the water park, but they when they were testing us would sit at the front and just tell us to swim a lap, just don't touch the bottom. Oh um, but the majority of the course, like you're wrapped around the backside, they couldn't see me. So I would just touch the bottom the whole time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I feel What the fuck? I feel sad that I potentially could have put myself in harm's way or someone else. Well um but I mean thankfully, nothing ever happened.
SPEAKER_00I think most of the water park is accessible by walking. The majority.
SPEAKER_01So and they never put me in the deep water. I was like, hey, I just like really don't like put one of the taller guys that maybe feels more. Yeah, so I really don't want to do that. Uh I let's see, I was a special education paraprofessional for three years. We worked in a life skills classroom with uh boys with autism. Um my ex and I we bought groceries for a man that owned a lodge in Seldovia, which you can only get to by ferry boat. Um and so that whole summer he gave us his Costco card and his credit card. And we spent like$10,000 every trip on like milk and eggs and beef and would take it off to some rinky dink airport. And so that was your salary job? Yeah. Buying groceries. Wow. I don't remember if it paid well, but it was a cool experience. Um but yeah, those are I've had a lot of lives. I've I've worked some weird jobs. And you're what, 27? I'm gonna be 30 in July. Close. Close. Very close. Yeah. Uh let's see. And I uh also have terrible vision. Um can't swim, can't see. Evolution would have yeah, they would have wiped me out if it weren't for contact lenses. Um but I'm technically, if I'm not wearing my corrective lenses, I'm technically legally blind. Oh right. I can't see anything, even like we'll be laying in bed, and Brendan will try to show me something on his phone, and I have to be two inches away from it to see. Seriously, that close? Yeah, it's pretty bad. My prescription is like negative seven and a half in both eyes, and I have astigmatism in both eyes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Wow. Thank God for contacts. Yeah. Do glasses work for you? Uh they do, but I don't love them because my prescription is so strong. They are about half an inch to three quarters of an inch. So cute. They're huge. So cute. I am with you.
SPEAKER_04I think that I think it's really cute when I see people with those.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I they just they're not for me. So plus I I have this like reoccurring uh fear or thought that like, what if the apocalypse happens and I'm stuck with only my really bulbous glasses? What if they fall off or break? But then it's what's everyone gonna think of you?
SPEAKER_04I would prefer my glasses to my contacts for the apocalypse.
SPEAKER_01Well, and that's I think where my fear stems too is that like the contacts you can't you're supposed to take them out. What if you can't take them out? What if you don't have access to water or a clean place to put them? But then they could at least they could stay there.
SPEAKER_02You know how you know how what if your glasses break?
SPEAKER_00In the past, you know how when you would maybe get in a car accident and your mother would always tell you, make sure you have clean underwear on.
SPEAKER_02Just in case I had that conversation.
SPEAKER_00I don't know because I've ever Because otherwise, how embarrassing for you. Have you not ever heard of that? I noticed to be like, you know, like make sure that you're always prepared. That's fine. You guys have never heard of that? No, never heard of that. Well, this could be the equivalent, like make sure you always have an extra pair of glasses on you or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that would be a good solution. I have not prepared myself. I just live in constant fear that it might happen someday.
SPEAKER_00That is a real fear though. Because you can't see. Yeah. It is But we take care of you. It wouldn't be very comfortable for you, but you'd get used to it. Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_04I wonder if your other sentences senses would heighten.
SPEAKER_01I feel like they probably would over time, but you get really good at hearing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We'd we'd guide you around and you'd tell us where the bad guys were based on their foot. Echolocation. Echo location, yeah. My son are two miles away, due north. Okay, what else you got?
SPEAKER_01Uh do you want more facts?
SPEAKER_00I guess I have more.
SPEAKER_01Wow, so many facts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we we we shouldn't ask people for just three. We should have give them have you give us your top 30.
SPEAKER_01Oh, wow. I do have five. Okay. The other ones are a little shorter. Um I have a cat named Murphy uh that only has four teeth. How many are they supposed to have? Um Well, I guess uh 30. I didn't know this, but uh she had to have dental surgery recently to get them taken out. And when they told me uh how many, they were like, well, you had to take all of them essentially, and I said, How many is that? Did you make it out of them? No, they're in a little jar, but they have a bow wrapped around it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01And they're on the Totchke shelf. Yay! Yeah. Yeah. Um and I have 23 tattoos. I counted the zero. Oh my lord, you didn't even know how many you had. I did not. I have counted in the past, but decided to stop caring at some point. So that's all I got for you.
SPEAKER_04Oh amazing. Great facts.
SPEAKER_00That was great. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Multi-dimensional.
SPEAKER_00So what do you think um what do you think having multiple jobs uh does for a person? Like obviously it makes them be more well-rounded. And can you relate to more people?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, uh it's an interesting uh thing to think about, I think, because I I feel like I have a hard time in general relating to people, and that's another thing I'm sure we'll talk about. But with having my ADHD, I've always kind of felt like socially inept or behind. So I don't know that it helped me feel like I was able to connect with people more, but I do think it was a a way for me to try to discover my interests because I've also really struggled with that. Where like I I've never been the type of person like you grow up with people, it's like from age five, they knew they wanted to be a doctor.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I was envious of those people for so long, Maggie Safeway.
SPEAKER_01That was my big plan. Honestly, that'd be a fun job. You get to meet a lot of people that way. Um, but yeah, I I was never that person, and I I struggled a lot with that, and I think I had a lot of self-same around that.
SPEAKER_03Sure, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um and so for me, I think unknowingly, it was kind of a way for me to figure out what it was that I did enjoy. Um and it was also just a fun way to try different ways of making money and you know, just navigating around that way.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, having different bosses, co-workers, rates of pay, work environments.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I have a lot of random skills and knowledge now that I wouldn't have otherwise. Like I know how to clean your dog's butt, and I can also put shock and chlorine in your pool, you know?
SPEAKER_00Like I could do all the things. You can't swim, but you can make sure the water is good for everyone else.
SPEAKER_01Wait, so you can't swim? I mean, I say that just that just it. Yeah, I say that uh kind of lightly. I can swim enough to where I could stay afloat if I were in danger. You can tread water. I can tread water, not greatly. Okay, not well. Um, but I can like float on my back and I can move in the water, but not for very long or very far. So I I say that I can't swim because I'm not a confident swimmer whatsoever. So if you were gonna swim across a lake, that's just not gonna happen. No, not unless I'm like on my back and like pulling myself propelling that way. But otherwise. Do you feel interested in learning how to swim? Um I have many times in the past. Uh I find that it's very anxiety ridden for me because I love the control of being on the ground. Um and it is it's a scary thing, I think, especially now to learn as an adult because of that. And there's so much weighing on if it doesn't, like if I'm not successful. This is, you know, and I've had people try to teach me, and uh I also have this thing where if I'm not immediately good at something, I get really upset and I give up. Yeah, you know, it's very it's like it's a personal attack from your own body. Exactly. And so I have I have tried and I have gotten to the point where I can float. That's great. But that was enough for me. It's like I just need to survive. I don't need to know how to do this. You'll be safe. Yeah, so that's good enough. I'm gonna be an Olympian. So gotcha.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Wow. I'm I've already learned so much more about you than I thank you so much. Of course. Wow. Thanks for asking. We we contain multitudes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Indeed.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Many changes.
SPEAKER_04Um, shall we uh go over the Wonder Quest?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. You're really good at talking about it.
SPEAKER_04Alright, so last last episode, uh, Maddie um assigned us all to record five of our delights from the last two weeks. This was harder than I expected it to be, I will admit for me.
SPEAKER_03Why?
SPEAKER_04I was not in a delighted mood, delightable mood, I think, this last two weeks. Less less less than usual.
SPEAKER_00Well, remember she said she's working this year on writing down the delights that happen in hard moments. Just in case you forget. Sorry. Yeah. Why am I apologizing?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, why are you apologizing?
SPEAKER_00I'm so sorry. So what did you what'd you get?
SPEAKER_04I got some delights.
SPEAKER_00And also, do you care, did you feel like sharing why the last two weeks were not very delight forward?
SPEAKER_04Um, yeah, I I am I'm feeling like there's a lot of pieces, like I feel like there is a lot of under um deferred infrastructure effort. Under deferred. No, not under just deferred infrastructure effort in my life. There's like a whole bunch of things that like I'm like moving forward on. And normally my problem is that I put too much work on the sort of back-end infrastructure, like make sure everything's all in place before I start something. And like that can be kind of counterproductive because sometimes I I don't know, I don't have a perfect understanding of what I'm gonna do. And so I do all this preparatory work, and some of it's just like a lot of it's like not really the right thing, and there's other areas where I didn't prepare because I didn't know that that was gonna be part of the direction. Um, and so in the last like year or two years, I've been trying to kind of like allow allow myself to start more things without feeling like I have everything in place ahead of time, um, which is yeah, not my natural inclination really. So, one consequence of that is that sometimes it means I have to like be a little bit better at recognizing when I'm like, oh, all this new exciting stuff is happening that's really fun, and I need to like also allocate effort to like in the middle of that, doing the kind of like work to build all of the sort of structure that makes that sustainable as opposed to just like doing the fun, new, exciting stuff. Right.
SPEAKER_00Um so for context, you're working on your shop?
SPEAKER_04We're going on the shop um maybe like three or four years ago, three years ago maybe. Um I was like, okay, I'm gonna start painting. And I was like, okay, I need to make sure I have all of the paint supplies that I would normally use. I need to make sure I have like a perfect space. Where am I gonna store all the things before I started painting at all?
SPEAKER_00So fucking opposite of how I paint every day.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think it's not typical.
SPEAKER_00My I build the plane as I fly it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, see, that's the thing. It's like that's what I'm trying to do more because I think like there can be a lot of value to putting stuff in place ahead of time if you know what you're gonna do. Yeah, if you don't know exactly what you're doing, I think it can be A, it can like sap a lot of momentum, and B, you could just like put effort in the wrong place. Right. Um So it's like okay, I need to know like where I'm gonna store the canvases after they're done before I even start it's a lot of it.
SPEAKER_00It's very logical. I can see the value of it.
SPEAKER_04But sure, sure. Um and so whereas now, like I'm trying pretty actively to avoid that habit. Um, but then there's like all the shit that builds up that I'm like I'm not used to then having to like also be like, okay, cool, I'm gonna take like a week and a half break from like my main creator practice to like build some shelves and reorganize the studio and like you know, recalibrate kind of how the stuff is going. And uh it's been frustrating, I think, to be aware that that's sort of half that's building up the like the debt, right? That sort of debt is building up and I'm not doing anything about it.
SPEAKER_03Debt.
SPEAKER_04Um you know, sort of like the the organizational debt, right? It's like you haven't you bought all you bought a bunch of stuff, you didn't organize it, right? You bought a bunch of new clothes and like you didn't you don't have enough hangers and like there's not space in the closet, and like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Feel ill prepared, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um so anyway, that's been building up, and I haven't really wanted to stop doing the more what feels like more pressing creative work to like build a bunch of shelves basically. Yeah. Um I think need to do that.
SPEAKER_00I think you need to involve your friends. Yeah, you could enlist some help. I think you should have a shelf building party. Yes. I know some people with some tools.
SPEAKER_04You do know some people with some tools.
SPEAKER_00And just a good mood to contribute. Yeah, bring some liberty to it.
SPEAKER_04That's a good point.
SPEAKER_00Um Work on Wolf's shop day. We'd have fun.
SPEAKER_04You probably would have fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's it's a little challenging because I need to figure out what exactly needs to happen, right? It's kind of like I need to be organizing the time rather than just doing the thing. The mental load.
SPEAKER_00Organize everything before we arrive. Give me a break.
SPEAKER_01I get it. I would be the same way. There's a lot of mental load that goes planning that. And you know. But I know. I wish I could do that too, to some capacity.
SPEAKER_00It's just I mean, we could all show up and then be like, okay, we gotta go to Ace Hardware.
SPEAKER_04It's true. Yeah. I mean, I my I am sensitive to like, I'm like, okay, if people are taking time out of their day to help me with this project, like I need to have done everything in my power to make sure that they feel like they can contribute in a way that is like feels productive for them. Um which is I think there's some value to that perspective, but it's also kind of a little bit of a misunderstanding of the situation, right? It's like when I go do that with people, like most of the time I'm like, I'm just kind of happy to hang out, and like if we help some, like that's great too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. So it's like a people-pleasing thing too, wanting to make sure other people are safe and totally yeah, and feel like they're not wasting realizing their dreams.
SPEAKER_04Let's see, I did have some delights. Uh let's see. Yesterday I went on a little photo walk with my little photo walk group, which is fun. Yeah, um, we were at Smith and we were coming back. It was like it was like I feel like you get an extra long golden hour because you're in the canyon and it's kind of like the light is below the edge of the canyon, but it's still like really, really like beautiful yellow light for a long time. So while we were walking back, I had kind of shot as much as I wanted to shoot, you know, and so it was nice to just kind of like be wandering through the bottom of the canyon in some beautiful light. That sounds lovely. It sounds amazing. It was really nice. Um let's see. Oh, I didn't finish this part of the list, but I've been just on like a generational level tear finding amazing books at the thrift store in like the last like couple weeks.
SPEAKER_00Generational tear.
SPEAKER_04Like, every time I go, there's like six great books. Which like lots of times I go to the thrift store in the past, like no books for weeks that are like interesting, and it's just been like every time I'd like I'm like, there's too many books. Nice, too many good books, which is that has been fantastic, really exciting. Every time you find when you're like, What is this? What is this doing here? Like, why did somebody give this up?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Why did somebody give this up? Real question.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's exciting.
SPEAKER_04It's been very fun. Uh last week I discovered that my hair is the perfect length to put up, if I put it up in pigtails, it's like two space buns because it's so curly.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, my gosh, just so cute and I think it was great.
SPEAKER_04That was a really fun discovery. Um I realized well last week when I made that collage for Kristen's birthday. Yeah, I didn't really ever look to this, but like you can get four by six photo prints at Walmart for like extremely cheap. Like they're like 16 cents apiece or something ridiculous. Oh yeah. They're pretty crappy, but like kind of fine, you know. Yeah. Um, so uh that's been fun creatively because I just got a ton, like 90 prints, and it was like, you know, whatever, like eight or nine dollars. And so you can just like go ahead and draw on them and like with abandoned, you know, because you're not really worried about like did is it perfect? Like, who cares?
SPEAKER_03You could just keep print another one.
SPEAKER_04Print another one, exactly. And then finally, of course, had to have some birds. Um this stuck couple that's out there right now, they've been in the pond all week, and um they're pretty cute. They're pretty cute together.
SPEAKER_01Sweet.
SPEAKER_04So that's been a one trick pony over here. I love me some birds. Bird birds love me some birds every time.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for sharing your delight. I hope that you were able to absorb at least a little bit.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, a little bit. A little bit.
SPEAKER_01All right, your turn. My first one is uh floor time in front of the fireplace. Um we have a little rug in front of the fireplace, and it is very enjoyable. I don't know if you guys like floor time, but if you haven't tried it, you should be able to do it.
SPEAKER_00I I'm obsessed with lying on the floor.
SPEAKER_01Lay on the ground and sprawl. It is there's so much childlike wonder in that feeling, and it's really lovely. Absolutely. Um the next one I have is early spring with the windows open and a soft breeze coming through the window.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, I had that feeling. So lovely. That's one of mine.
SPEAKER_01Is it? Oh Belly Laughs with New Friends that felt like old friends.
SPEAKER_03Oh cute.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um Brendan had a friend in from Ashland uh not last weekend, but the weekend prior. Uh and after just a few minutes, it felt like I had known her for a very long time. So it was really, really great.
SPEAKER_00I love that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um the next two are kind of silly, but they were very delightful for me. Um Cadbury eggs.
SPEAKER_03Nice.
SPEAKER_01It's Easter season. It's the season. Tis the season for the those sweet little eggs. And I ate an entire bag in two days. And I had to refrain from they sell them at Costco in a five-pound bag.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01And I'm very proud of myself for uh refraining from buying that bag, but I did go through an entire small bag in two days. Um, but they're only out for like a month through the year, and I love them so fucking much that it was like, you know what? God damn it, I'm gonna eat this damn bag. Good, good. Live your life. So delightful. Uh and a normal pap smear. Yay! No words on that.
SPEAKER_00That was delightful. Thank God. Yeah. Laying in bed next to an open window, getting kissed by the sun and hearing birds squawk and feeling the crisp breeze on my skin. My god, you're such a writer. That was so beautifully written. No, it was so cute. That was great. Thank you. I'm we're I will accept your compliment. Thank you. As much as I can physiologically manage. Yeah. Thank you for that. Um, I like that we had a similar one. My bed is right next to my window, and I just had to roll over and open the window one morning. I think it was like a Weekend morning. It was such a slow, gentle, perfect, like magical special moment. And it actually happened multiple times this week. It was so amazing. I just love that my head is right next to the window. And um I'm really invested in getting kissed by the sun as early as possible in the day. And I have a hard time getting up super early, but I whenever I get out of bed, um, I always go downstairs and outside immediately and just like be like what up world, yeah, sun. Like it's for my circadian rhythm and everything. Um, but I don't have to leave my bed now. I can just roll over and uh and then I get the information I need. Yeah. About what time it is and how what I should be feeling. Does that make sense? Yeah. Totally, yeah. Sounds cool. Um, telling Wolf unsolicited advice in a know-it-all tone and him responding with, yeah, you're right. Really, any time Wolf thinks I'm right or when I have a good idea, I am about two inches taller. I don't know. No, you do it a great amount. Anymore, and it wouldn't be as good.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh refrain. Thank you. The smell of juniper when I'm on a walk. Lovely. Getting 10,000 steps. Nice. Really, really, dude. And feeling hope.
SPEAKER_01That's really sweet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's more than just a delight. That's yeah. Uh gas in the tank, you know? Oh, yeah. Fill in your cup.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I really like this practice very much. Thank you, Maddie. Yes, thank you, Maddie.
SPEAKER_01It was I was telling them before we got started that I've always found it difficult to do gratitude journals because it just feels like there's too much weight on it or pressure, maybe to feel grateful for something like of great magnitude. And this was a really nice practice to just catch the little glimpses of glimmer during the day. Uh and I think I want to continue doing it. But just like those little moments that like make me smile or you know, feel good in my heart, you know. I think it'd be nice to have them written down and I can look back on them later.
SPEAKER_00When you're not feeling that great. Yeah, exactly. That might be nice because with my emotions and probably a lot of people's emotions, I feel sad and then I'm like, I never remember what it felt like to feel anything else. Yeah. Or when I'm happy, I'm like, fuck yeah, what problems. So it's nice to like that's why I really like looking back on my journals and seeing my perspective change very dramatically. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, there's a through line with all of it. It's not just like gives a lot of perspective.
SPEAKER_04It's so hard to remember in the moment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it is really hard. This could help. Yeah. For those of our listeners who would like to wait what?
SPEAKER_04First, we need to know what the new wonder quest is.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I have a I have something for you. Hannah. Wolf has a question for you. Shoot, Wolf.
SPEAKER_04What's the next Wonder Quest?
SPEAKER_01Okay. Well, so Maddie's was lovely in looking outward, right? And finding delights outside of yourself. So this Wonder Quest, I want you guys to look inward a little bit. Um, I want you to find an old photo of yourself at any age, anything that you feel drawn to, and I want you to write them a short letter.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, cry.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it might bring up some stuff. You never know. Um so examples could be what you want them to know about your life now, what you wish someone had told them that they didn't get to hear, um, and just take time to connect with them for a minute. There's no need to share. Relax. There's no need to share what you write in your letter. But I think it would be fun to talk about how it feels if things come up, what that was like for you, or if that even feels like too much, just share what photo you decided to write.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's another bangin' wonder quest. Yeah, I hope you guys have fun with it. I have done this before, and it is it is it can be very difficult and also really cathartic and freeing, and kind of feels like you're hugging yourself from the inside out, you know?
SPEAKER_00It's just like looking back on your old journals. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. I've only written letters to my future self, never to my past self. For our listeners.
SPEAKER_01You guys can't see the gestures that are happening over here right now, but I'm here for it.
SPEAKER_00Who are gonna do this fucking wonder quest respectfully.
SPEAKER_04Respectfully writing a letter to your past self.
SPEAKER_01Yes, please be respectful to little you or mid-sized you. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Whatever you you decide. Um please email.
SPEAKER_04Spiritually smaller for sure.
SPEAKER_00Email uh your takeaways to us. Wowwonder.media. All right. Uh let's spin the wheel of wonder. Yay.
SPEAKER_01I've always wanted to spin this wheel.
SPEAKER_00Touch it.
SPEAKER_04Your time is finally gone.
SPEAKER_01Touch the bot.
SPEAKER_00Minor phobia.
SPEAKER_04Ooh.
SPEAKER_00So do you have any minor phobias? Or what are they rather? Hmm.
SPEAKER_01Well, I feel like I have little phobias about everything. Honestly. Just being alive.
SPEAKER_04The minor phobia.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um touching slimy things. Any slimy things? Well, I'm thinking uh food in the sink. Okay. Oh, yeah. Um what about sea anemones? I don't I've never touched one. You're from Alaska? Yeah. An imposter in the world. I grew up in Anchorage, you know. I was like City Girl. I don't know. But yeah, we were um Brendan and I were watching uh Life on Our Planet on Netflix. Uh and we just finished an episode last night they were talking about the ocean. Uh and I realized how grossed out I am by the sliminess of the ocean. The ocean. The texture of a lot of these things is visceral to think about having to yeah.
SPEAKER_00Have you ever held a sea cucumber? I no, and I would never the vac the vacuums of the ocean floor.
SPEAKER_01I yeah, I could not do that.
SPEAKER_00No, you can't. What about being in a hot springs and the film that's in the water sometimes or on your skin? Does that creep you out? It is gross.
SPEAKER_01I just have to remove myself from it. Just not think about it. Like I can feel it on my toes and I hate it. Uh, but I'm not gonna make a fuss over it.
unknownYou know?
SPEAKER_00Why? Because you're a lady?
SPEAKER_01Well, there's no because there's nothing I can do about it, you know. Like I want to be in a hot spring and it's wet and slimy. It's just the cost of having fun. You gotta get slimy.
SPEAKER_00So any uh any idea on why that why you are anti-slime?
SPEAKER_01Uh I think I have aversions to textures in general. Like there are certain foods I won't eat because the texture is repulsive to me. Like what? Uh olives are a big one because they squeak on my teeth. Whoa, that is completely unforgivable.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_04I don't think I've ever had an olive squeak on my teeth.
SPEAKER_01All I can hear is it just it's Yeah. I hate it. Yeah. Um what are you scared of, bro?
SPEAKER_04Um recently I am uh becoming more acquainted with my minor phobia of buying shit that I don't need. Oh buying shit that like I end up having just bought for the sake of like buying it, not because it was like I was excited about it, I wanted it, it had some added anything to my life, you know. Um and uh I think it's like good to have a little bit of that. But if it's too much of it, then like you just can't take any risk.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_04You know, and I think that can be that's sometimes counterproductive for me. But thrifting has been a good way to kind of get past that because it's not the risk is not that low, not that high. Wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_00The risk of what?
SPEAKER_04Of buying something and then realizing, uh, I only bought this because I wanted to go through the like experience of buying a thing, not because I wanted the thing that was gonna add to my life or like contribute to the drugs that happen when you buy it. Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00I didn't know you were working with that.
SPEAKER_01Like chasing the dopamine. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's hard because we live in a capitalistic society where so much of what we're surrounded by is go buy this, go buy this.
SPEAKER_04That will this will solve all your problems.
SPEAKER_01I need this in order to solve something, and then you buy the thing and you're like, well, it's not a good thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's a hard thing to sit with.
SPEAKER_00You know, you could buy savings bonds.
SPEAKER_04I don't think that's really gonna scratch the itch for me, but I love that theory. Love the idea.
SPEAKER_00Every kid loves those. Okay. Hannah, we have some uh questions for you, and I'm super excited about. Are we starting with the desert island one?
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_00I'm really excited about that one. Hit us. Okay. Wait, so we have to ask the question first. Yeah, illegally. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04All right. If we all shipwrecked on a desert island, what role would you naturally adopt in the group labor division?
SPEAKER_01Okay, I had a hard time with this one because not hunting.
SPEAKER_04We we we're picking up.
SPEAKER_01Not hunting? I don't think so. And not lifeguards. There's a lot of things. No. Um I'll be writing SOS. Save our soup. Save our soup. Um I'm not handy, nor can I cook. I mean, I can make like very basic things, but like put me in a dire situation, I'm not cooking anything. So I'm eliminating myself from a lot of key roles here already. Um again, as we've talked about, I like control. Um, but I also don't want to be in charge in case we fuck up and die. I don't know. I don't want to have that.
SPEAKER_00You want it all, but none of it.
SPEAKER_01Right, exactly. Um, somebody has to cry when we first realize that we're stranded and I'm volunteering for that role. First, perfect. Yeah. Because no one else is gonna be able to do that. Yeah. Uh realistically, though, I think that I would like to be a forager. So, like what I want to do is I want to go out, I want to scavenge the land. I want to see what we have to work with first. Survey the parameters, survey our land, and then we're gonna get a baseline. Uh the accent won't go away.
SPEAKER_04Stop. What we got, guys. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh before we make decisions, I want to know what we have to work with, right? Yeah. Um, and I can be very useful in the calm, but I'm significantly less useful in crisis. Uh so I think that you gotta catch me when I'm regulated. Like that's really important in the beginning. Like we gotta do it first and foremost. In the morning between sun and nine o'clock, and that's it. It can't be, you know, by the end of the first day once we're already done, like everyone's freaked out. I've gotta have we gotta get this done first and foremost. Okay, so you react. We're gonna react. We're gonna go look out for stuff, and then we're gonna come back with a full inventory um of all the things that we have, and I'll probably have very strong opinions about how we organize them also.
SPEAKER_00Very nice.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I want you to tell Hannah what you thought her role would be. Ooh. Because it was I would love to know this. Such a compliment. And I totally agree.
SPEAKER_04Remember what I said.
SPEAKER_00The leader, bitch. Oh. The leader of it all.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, that's right. I was like, I feel like Hannah's like so organized and so like authoritative. Like I feel like I feel like yeah, sharp. Yeah, you'd just be like, all right, you're doing this, go do that. You're you're going to do this, go do that.
SPEAKER_01I feel like the group also has so many strong-willed brains that I don't see myself in that, but it is very much a compliment. So thank you. Um, but again, I don't want that responsibility because then if if we die, then you know, it would that would suck. And I would be in charge. That would weigh on your conscience. But I do feel that that too. Yeah. Spiritual conscience. Uh I feel like I do naturally kind of fall into that where I could be like, okay, like, you know, Brendan and Wolf are great with their wood. Why don't you guys go do that? And you can, you know, you can go chop some wood and then I don't know. Kristen and I will go find some water. And I don't know if you feel comfortable hunting animals. Maybe you could do that.
SPEAKER_00I've never slain an animal on purpose.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know if I could do that. I don't know who in the group I would delegate for that. Wolf's meat daddy. He could handle that. Yeah, you're meat daddy.
SPEAKER_00That's fair, that's true. Forgot about that. Yeah. I just he just so you know, in preparation for this podcast, we were so complimentary about you. Oh we were like, she's so cool, she's so smart, she just has it all together, she just gets it. Oh my god. I don't know what we've even said.
SPEAKER_01Very kind, thank you. I do not feel that way internally, but I'm glad that my external projection is giving that seems that way.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. That's how it's impacting me. Thank you. Um I think I would not be the leader. I think I'm more of a follower in terms of a group in crisis. Like, I don't think I'd be like, listen here.
SPEAKER_01See, I see you being like in charge of figuring out shelter and making sure everyone's comfortable. Oh thank you. That feels like a very mere task in my mind.
SPEAKER_00What a comp.
SPEAKER_01Lament.
SPEAKER_00And um maybe something around food, because I'm so obsessed and anxious about it. Would you go fish? Do you have fish? Well, uh so I I showed Wolf the movie The Triangle of Sadness. Have you watched it yet?
SPEAKER_01I have not. I've heard many things about it from you guys, but I have not watched it.
SPEAKER_00Well, speaking of getting uh well, no, but I don't want you to have a phobia. I don't want you to have a phone. Okay, okay. No more words. But once you watch it, you'll understand why I'm thinking about it right now. Anyway, you need to watch that movie this week. Okay. With Brendan. All right. Okay. Noted. That's your wonder quest. Okay. Because it is a quest. Yay, okay. Yeah. Especially when you have no context. It's a fucking wacky ride. What about Wolf? What do you what do you think? Actually. Instead of us answering for you. I think you you're so tall you could be a post and we could lean everything. That's a good idea. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's a good yeah. Good suggestion.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, I I can I I think I can be pretty good in charge, but I have I am not that interested in being in charge of people who don't want to be told what to do. Yeah. You know, I'm like, alright, if you don't want to fucking if you don't want to listen, like I'm not, I'm not gonna force you to listen.
SPEAKER_00Like, I think we would need a leader and then leader in command. Yeah. Well, we need someone to lead and then someone to massage everyone's ego. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Not my strong suit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That would be a hard balance. Sometimes I ask him for words of affirmation, like, okay, buddy, we're gonna jump into the next episode. What do you got? It's always so lame. Words are hard.
SPEAKER_01It's okay.
SPEAKER_04Affirming is not my strong suit.
SPEAKER_01I could see you like say we find like a like a CB radio or something. I could see you being the one that would be fixing the C B radio. You would be fixing it. You'd be getting on with the headphones. Maybe it's because I'm looking at you with headphones on right now. But like you're gonna be the one that sends out those SOS signal and gets us on an airplane. Or maybe we find a plane, you fly us out.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I could see that. I think both of you have actually I know both of you have so many skills that just pop up in all kinds of different situations. You're both very, very simple.
SPEAKER_04I would feel comfortable with that.
SPEAKER_01There's a very diverse skill set amongst the crew, I would say so too. I would feel safe. But save our soup, please.
SPEAKER_00Save our bodies of soup. Save our things.
SPEAKER_04Alright, well, take a little break.
SPEAKER_00Show thing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then we'll be back next week with the rest of this episode.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, right. See you then. Bye. Bye.